It’s a snow day. In fact, it’s a thundersnow day. Now, as a freelancer, this really shouldn’t mean anything to me – but I can’t help it, it’s a snow day! Sure, I’ll do my writing, I’ll put in my hours… but there’s a different tinge to the air. There’s a certain waft of leisure, of pleasurable endeavors.

This, of course, sends my mind to women. After I’ve thrown enough snowballs and gotten enough ‘whoa!’s from the flashing sky, at least.

Alright – I lie. There was no one out there ready to trade missiles. And, if I may tangent for a second – and who’s gonna stop me – that makes me sad. I mean, it’s expected – it was cold and the snow pelted sideways and everything a person could want was indoors, with nothing good outside.

Save wonder! Save wonder. People sometimes muse, when did I get old? My answer – the moment snow stopped being a joy, and became an obstacle. It’s not unpleasant out there, not for a half hour at a time – and, with trees weighted down, playing limbo beneath their limbs, all above white and sticky and falling in clumps on your head – wait ‘til morning, it will have all sloughed off – this is a kind of heaven.

Now, maybe I’m so sunny because my lights stay on. And maybe it’s childish notions like these that have me edating, instead of nuzzled under a woolen blanket before a fire with one ringed finger twining another. So be it – I’ll keep making that trade.

But, to get back on track – it’s much too slick out to try and get together with anyone – not until I find another nearby lady. The last one was The Feminist Documentarian, who lived up the street that I flung with a few times.

No one like that at the moment. No nuzzling tonight.

So, instead, like thousands of others up and down the coast, I go online to my sites. But I know something others don’t…

Rule #83 The Rule of Two

There’s a mistake many make – mostly men, merely because we’re still the actors online, a good 95% of the time it’s going to be the man who makes the first move (and, in my experience, the first-moving ladies have seldom been any I woulda chosen. Which I’m sure is the way most women feel as they get barraged, as well.)

Anyway, the error: You find someone you like, you start a conversation – an exchange or two – and then, suddenly, despite seeming warmth, they disappear. What do most do? They bug – they can’t help it. They badger, they pester, they get irate if given a polite (or impolite) no thanks… this is no way to win a heart.

The Rule of Two: if you aren’t answered two missives in a row, radio silence. A day like today, and into the night – keep yourself conversing with ongoing things, and writing new matches.

If you haven’t heard back from one in awhile, a second letter is allowed – attractive matches are often a bit lost in interesting options, and it’s easy to misplace one in the shuffle. A gentle reminder you’re out there is fine – nothing long, just a quick ping.

Anything beyond that, though, and you’re only courting the ugly emotions that drag plenty of otherwise good people down. Not only do you ruin your chances with the present prospect, but you’re in the exact wrong mind space heading into future contacts. Remember, you’re not taking anything personally – certainly not before a face-to-face – so, if you haven’t heard back in two, let it go. Simple. Sometimes hard to do, but really quite intuitive, when you think about it. Grow a spine, keep your confidence – another will answer, it’s a guarantee – and move on. Rule of Two.